Addison & Jess ::: en route

1. Nostalgic. You might have noticed that South Carolina has been consuming the news of late. With the Republican presidential primary tomorrow, every article or story on the radio is from Columbia or Charleston. And each time I hear one, my mind drifts back to all that I loved about my home state. Summer afternoons on the lake with friends. Laughing with my sister until I cried while playing games at my mother’s kitchen table. Walking through the gardens where Addison and I were married with a glass of red wine in my hand. All the good of South Carolina floods my mind, and it makes me miss home. Of course, logically, I know I’m just feeling nostalgic. I know that, right now, South Carolina is not where I’m supposed to be. I’m not sure it ever will be again. But when I look back, I remember all the good it brought to my years — from falling in love with Addison when I was just 17 years old to driving down the interstate surrounded by sun and green trees. And I forget, just for a moment, all the bad things it brought — from a complete stranger yelling at me “You’ll never be a man” to being denied every protection and right I need to take care of my wife. Maybe it’s better to forget the bad and just remember the good. The good of youth, of family, of friends, of sunshine, of lakes and beaches and rivers, of Rita’s Italian Ice and Mr. Friendly’s tater tots. 

2. Energized. The legislative session has started up here in Colorado, and I am once again engaged in a fight that I care very deeply about. For the second year in a row, my colleagues and I at One Colorado are working to advance civil unions legislation. We’re facing an uphill battle, with a Capitol that’s overwhelmed by a negative, partisan vibe, but I am energized by the process. We’re strategizing how to earn Republican support, mobilizing thousands of supporters, and telling our stories to change hearts and minds. It’s invigorating. And if our legislators listen to the 76% of Coloradans who support civil unions and pass the bill, Addison and I will rejoice, for we will have just made Colorado a better, safer place for the family we’re hoping to start.

3. Anxious. As many of you know, Addison and I are going to have to move again in May. Our landlord is selling the apartment that we love and adore. Selling it and forcing us to search, once again, for a place to live in May. I’ve known about our impending move for several months now, and it’s causing me tremendous anxiety. I wish someone had just told me in April that we had to move. That would be better. I would have panicked and worried, but it would have lasted for only a short time. As is, by the time we actually move, I will have worried about moving for seven months. I will have struggled to decide on what area of town to look in for seven months. I will have searched Craigslist for seven months. I could go on…

4. Baby Crazy & Greedy. My biological clock is tick, tick, ticking away, telling me to have a baby now, now, now. I can’t seem to stop it. Even being around crying children doesn’t help. Nope, no matter how good or bad the young one is, they make my ovaries do a little cartwheel. It doesn’t matter that I’m not ready for a baby — not emotionally, financially, or mentally — biology demands a bun in the oven. But I cannot fulfill biology’s needs. Addison has set up some strict parameters for when we can bring forth Little Woodrum, and one of her rules centers on money. We must have a pre-determined (by her, of course) amount of money in the bank before we can even create a plan for Little Woodrum. And so I’m greedy. Very greedy. Want to send me money? I’ll take it; I have no pride. Biology is gathering up every last penny and placing it in a savings account for Little Woodrum. I’ve never been quite so greedy before in my life. But maybe you’ll forgive me for this sin if I just blame it on biology?

-Jess

1.) Our new Honda Civic!  After 16 months of living in Denver with only one car, Jess and I finally decided to bite the bullet and go for a second vehicle.  Jess’ mom hooked us up with a small loan at a great rate and we were able to get a great deal on a gently used 2002 Civic with less than 100,000 miles.  It only has 2 doors, but it’s super clean, and super cute!  Besides, we have the Subaru when we want to haul around lots of people, or stuff.  And it gets 10 MPG better than the Suby in city and on the highway, so I’m looking forward to getting tags on it, and getting my commute on!  

2.) Facebook.  This might sound like an odd one, but I really like being able to keep up with everyone back home, especially my family.  Jess and I are fortunate enough to talk with our immediate family pretty regularly, but FB has helped me stay on top of my extended family and friends.  (Congrats on the engagement, Blayde!)  I feel like I know some people better now that I can see what they do on a regular basis, and that’s pretty cool.  Plus it will give us something to talk about the next time I’m in town.  

3.) Friends.  When we moved to Colorado we knew it would be tough not having our wonderful friends around, and there are still some people in Columbia we miss dearly.  But in Denver we have managed to befriend some really wonderful people who have very different backgrounds from me and Jess.  Knowing these people has helped me think about things in a very new way, which has been wonderful for my personal growth.  Thank you, Denver friends!  You’re the best a girl could ask for!  : )

4.) Brunch!  Brunch has quickly and easily become my favorite meal here in Denver.  I didn’t really used to get down with this hybrid meal, and frankly I don’t really love breakfast, but brunch has become a staple of our weekend ritual.  On Sunday mornings, we call it “gay church,” because it’s usually our LGBT peeps that accompany us on this outing.  There’s one restaurant in particular that always seems to have friends there on Sunday mornings.  But there are so many good places to eat brunch here!  It almost seems that brunch is a bigger happening than a Friday or Saturday night dinner.  Actually, we’re trying a new brunch place with our friends, Shanna and LP, today!  

5.) My girls.  Jess and Izzie are the highlights of my day, everyday.  Jess is so smart, passionate, and damn good at her job.  She cares so much and works so hard.  And it’s important work.  Really, really important work.  She’s working so the future she and I imagine with such precise detail can become a reality.  She’s fighting for our relationship, our life, every day, and I’m so incredibly grateful for that.  And she loves me fiercely.  I know that she does, and for that I am even more grateful.  Izzie, too!  She gets so excited when we come home from work, and it’s nice to know that there are too “people” who love me no matter what.  I love my little family!  

So I know November is the month of thankfulness, but I always seem to be behind the curve so I’m just going to say what I’m thankful for today, on December 1:

1. Vacation Trip to the Carolinas. Last week, Addison and I spent a delightful week off in the Carolinas. We visited her mom in Asheville, NC; her dad and stepmom in North Augusta, SC; and my family in Easley, SC. It was just wonderful to see everyone and spend time together. From a fabulous trip to Biltmore House to some rousing card playing to a delicious meal of no less than 20 dishes — we were treated to quite a good time. It’s tough to live far away from family and miss everyone all the time — and this visit was so rejuvenating. 

2. Denver. Although seeing family was lovely, being back in the Carolinas, even for just a week, reminded me of why we left. A genderqueer lesbian like me just doesn’t fit in the South. As a result, coming back to Denver has felt really good, really right. After just a year, Denver feels like home to me. It feels like a place that fits us. I’m so incredibly thankful that we’re here.

3. My job. Today, I celebrate two months in my new position: Deputy Director at One Colorado. I started as Online Communications Manager, then became Communications Manager, and now Deputy Director. In just a year, I have been able to learn and accomplish so much, and I’ve been given so many opportunities. After many years of wondering what my path in life really is, I’m so happy that I’ve found work that energizes, challenges, and fulfills me. I’m incredibly lucky.

4. Our friends. It’s tough to be far away from family, but it’s true what they say — sometimes you make your own family. And that’s exactly what we’ve done. With every passing weekend, our calendar fills up as we enjoy dinners and brunches, game playing and events with some of the most incredible people we’ve ever known. We’re so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome folks.

5. Addison. My wife is the most incredible person I know. Everyday, she inspires and supports me. She takes care of me when I’m sick, even though I can be a grumpy bugger. She feeds me and dresses me when I just can’t decide what to wear. She listens to me rant and rave. She makes me laugh, and she surprises me. Addison is truly my other half, and I don’t know what I’d do without her. The work that I do, the battles that I fight for equality, I’m fighting them for her and for the family we hope to have someday.

-Jess